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I'm at my QUARTER LIFE CRISIS ( I think). It is this time I believe when I look back and I realize I'M NOT MOVING ON. Oh yes, the years just add up while I stay static.

Let me recall the highlights of my twenty five years of existence. My mind begun functioning when my mother passed away in July of 1997. it was a big adjustment for the whole family especially me. I was just fourteen. It was at my second year in high school and I knew nothing then but to be a brat. I'm the youngest among four siblings and consider the twelve years gap between me and my sister next to me, I was a baby.

I struggled that year and the years that came after that. I'm struggling still. Suddenly from being the baby, I had to grow up a little faster than I should be. Since then my family started prepping me up for life ahead. I started learning to take responsibilities for myself and my family. I got stuck to that from then on.

My life went well until I got my heart broken at my last year in college. No regrets about this one. I am even considering it as one of the most valuable learning experience in my life despite the fact that I did a lot of those stupid things.(my friends would definitely attest to this). Heck! I was in love. Apart from being brokenhearted, I also failed my Medical Technology licensure exam that same year. Yes, it was devastating.

Since I didn't pass my licensure exam, I was asked to take up Nursing the following year. I tried everything to say no but I couldn't. I tell myself I just couldn't disappoint my family but then again I was just probably afraid, a coward more so.

It took a lot of persuasion, arguments and bribing to convince me to study again. I gave in. I cried every night since then. And from that day on I stopped planning for my life.

I retook my MT board exam the same year I started my second degree. I made it this time. I thought if I'd pass the test, my nursing career would be reconsidered. It didn't work out the way I pictured it. All I got were the biggest eyes saying NO ARGUMENTS ANYMORE! My world sinked in.

For two more years I battled my nursing agony. But those years weren't that bad after all. I learned more and I gained new friends. These are the things that made it all worthwhile. Now I am a registered nurse, too.

Now, at twenty five, I am EMMY C. MALLARI, R.M.T., R.N. It's just so much fun having my short name lengthen because of those letters tagged at the end. Everyone thinks it's superb having two degrees at a young age. Professionally they might be right but personally, those didn't matter.

Since I'm a medtech by heart, I got to practice it. Six months and two weeks. No more, no less. I felt fulfilled for the moment because I got to do what I really wanted to do. My freedom ended when I resigned.

I'm back again to nursing life. Four months from now I'd be taking the NCLEX. After that, I have no idea what I'd be doing.

So much for my career.

Lovelife? Hmmm... still single. But hopefully it will blossom before I reach my late 30's. I personally think that I wouldn't be able to commit in a relationship right now. I have to do some fixing of myself first.

This is my quarter life. And it's in crisis.