just woke up

i've got my dirver's license back today and i am moving on.

i know it took sometime before i could absorb everything. i was still in the denial part of being just the "special" girl in his life and would never be the girl he worries about from the time he wakes up until before he sleeps. the girl whom he texts and calls anytime of the day just to check up on her. the girl that he tells stories about to his family. the girl he asks his friends and family to take care of while he is away. the girl he talks about while we talk to each other. yes, i am not that girl. and i'm taking a step on accepting that reality.

i don't need to find a new guy to love and be crazy about so that i could forget him. i just needed a little bump on the head to get back into my senses. i realized i'm letting myself settle for someone lesser than who i really deserve. i was falling down into a situation that weakens me.

i fell on my face but now i'm ready to get up even if it means starting back again at one.

i haven't moved on but i will, definitely!